WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.
11/22/09
"Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome."
-
Winston Churchill
11/15/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
11/8/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
11/1/09
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."
– Norm
10/25/09
"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver."
-
Phil Harris
10/18/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
10/11/09
"Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold."
-
Jerry Vale
10/4/09
"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
– Norm
9/27/09
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Oh, alright, but stop me at one. No, make that one-thirty."
– Norm
9/20/09
Woody: Little early in the day for a beer, isn't it, Norm?
Norm: So float a corn flake in it.
– Norm
9/13/09
Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
-- Norm from 'Cheers'
9/6/09
Sadness is just another word for not enough beer
8/23/09
You are what you drink.
I guess that makes me a tall blonde
8/16/09
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
8/9/09
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
8/2/09
I would drink beer with a goat, on a boat, in a box, in my sox, in a car, at a bar. I do, I do, I do like beer!"
7/26/09
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
7/19/09
Everyone has to believe in something.. I believe I will have another beer
7/12/09
I work until beer o’clock
7/5/09
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
6/21/09
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
6/14/09
Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine.
After that you just take the girl's clothes off.
-- Raymond Chandler, "The Long Goodbye"
6/7/09
"The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
-
Arthur Lewis.
5/31/09
Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
-- Norm from 'Cheers'
5/24/09
"...there is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer."
-Peter Richmond
5/17/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
5/10/09
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
5/3/09
"Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer - it has always been thus."
-Peter Richmond
4/26/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
4/19/09
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead." Irish Toast
4/12/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
4/5/09
Draft beer, not people!
3/29/09
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
3/22/09
"Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long."
-Carl Worner
3/15/09
A quart of ale is a dish for a king. -- Shakespeare, "A Winter's Tale"
3/8/09
Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.
Barney “The Simpsons”
3/1/09
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Homer Simpson
2/22/09
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle. -- Henny Youngman
2/15/09
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. – Hannu
2/8/09
There are more old drunks than old doctors
2/1/09
Only Irish Coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups - alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. -- Alex Levine
1/25/09
We are here to drink beer ... and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. -- Charles Bukowski
1/18/09
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
1/11/09
"I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety." Shakespeare, Henry V
1/4/09
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer."
-Abraham Lincoln
