12/21/08
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer."
Arnold Schwarzenegger
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12/14/08
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle.
- Henny Youngman
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12/7/08
“I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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11/30/08
“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption... Beer!"
-Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
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11/23/08
“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety."
-Shakespeare, Henry V
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11/16/08
Some may say the glass is half full. Some may say the glass is half empty. But the Irish will forever say,
“ARE YOU GONNA DRINK THAT?”
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11/9/08
“There are more old drunks than old doctors"
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11/2/08
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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10/26/08
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
-Winston Churchill
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10/19/08
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
-George Burns
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10/12/08
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
-Frank Sinatra
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10/5/08
A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation. -- William Blake
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9/27/08
“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.”
-Ed O’neill
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9/21/08
“Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....
Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.”
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9/14/08
“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.”
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9/7/08
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
-Homer Simpson
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8/31/08
An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout
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8/24/08
"A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion."
-Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture
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8/17/08
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
-Old Irish Toast
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8/10/08
He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato
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8/3/08
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
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7/27/08
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
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7/20/08
Scotch - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
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7/13/08
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
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7/6/08
Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll
waste a lifetime.
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6/29/08
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-Dean Martin
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6/22/08
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde
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6/15/08
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet, tasty beer.
--Homer Simpson
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6/8/08
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
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6/1/08
Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine.
-David Moulton
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5/25/08
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart
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5/18/08
24 hours a day, 24 beers in a case….coincidence I think not
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5/11/08
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine nvention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
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5/4/08
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but
at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
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4/27/08
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!.
--Brian O'Rourke
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4/20/08
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
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4/13/08
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
--W.C. Fields
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4/6/08
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that
truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
--Ross Levy
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3/30/08
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
--William Butler Yeats
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3/23/08
Worthless people live only to eat and drink, people of worth eat and drink only to live
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3/16/08
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
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3/9/08
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 4000B.C.!
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3/2/08
There's too much blood in my alcohol
system.
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2/24/08
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
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2/17/08
My drinking team has a soccer problem
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2/10/08
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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2/3/08
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
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1/27/08
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
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1/20/08
What Grand Marnier will not cure,
there is no cure for.
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1/13/08
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
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1/6/08
How can I be so thirsty in the morning, when I drank so much last night?
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12/30/07
Sadness is just another word for not enough beer.
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